Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
So as you head down the corridor, light shines out ahead.
Hello there! Excuse my manners. My name is Taraz the Fair, and who are you?
He extends a hand.
And I gladly shake it.
Thea, you see a line of what looks like sand or salt.
Flynn, wait!
I have to ask, Taraz. What's with the salt on the floor?
I've been trapped here for quite some time.
So what you're saying is you're not going to let me out then?
I mean, it really doesn't seem like we should.
I really don't feel like I want to. Like I want to find my owl, but good gravy.
And I mean, Taraz, we got a real big, like,
demon dragon queen to worry about.
What did I tell you? Those demons, they are just the shits.
I mean, you heard it here first.
You know what? If we need your help, maybe we'll come back and let you out.
Ah, pleasure to meet you, dear Thea.
It's Thea.
That's what I said.
I'll pile into the teleportation circle and you find yourselves back in the sundial room.
You run towards the city.
You see a large blue dragon and three red dragons swooping and burning up the city.
And then you look off to the south and you see a red dragon swooping.
And you hear a call and you see guacamole swoop towards the dragon's face
and dig her claws into its open eye.
That's my girl.
Hashtag fail guac.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
I'm Amy More.
You just said that.
I play Thea Amastasia.
And Carla Johnson.
And I play new Laura Moonbrook.
And Tom Laird.
And I play Flintfire Beard.
Look how short that was compared to last week's episode.
Don't worry.
Let's just keep going with it.
Oh, yeah.
For more of these short intro episodes,
you can join us on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Well, yeah, and listen to what we have going on there because we don't even do intros.
No, there is an intro free zone.
Yeah, it's an intro free zone where we just jump in because you know who we are
and we just want to bring you the goods, the entertainment value.
Here we like to dick you around a little.
Consistently tell you our names and our characters like you're sort of an idiot.
It's for people.
I know, but it's for people.
Every episode is somebody's first episode.
That's right.
That's true.
They're probably like, who are these ding-dongs?
You know what?
Who are these doinks?
Who's been listening to us for now, 59 episodes.
They're going to go and be like, this episode was the absolute best episode.
Because they didn't dick us around.
And then they're going to go share it with their friend.
And their friend's going to listen to it and be like, wow,
they did not dick you around at the beginning.
And we did not.
Not like those other podcasts, am I right?
Listen to episode 58.
Like they talked about murder and how to avoid it for a good portion of the episode.
Yep. Yeah, that's exactly what happened.
But don't worry, they'll go back to episode one by that point.
And 58 will be just they'll be into it.
Oh, and they'll get to hear our terrible audio in episode one.
So bad.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
I mean, I try not to talk about it because every podcast is like,
just be kind to our first few episodes.
It's like, you know what?
Listen to a new one.
See where we're at.
Listen to an old one.
I mean, we figure it out pretty quick.
But yeah, that first one is not great.
Yeah, it's fun, though.
Oh, yeah.
It has some fun.
It has it has our daughter in there singing like jingle bells or something in the background.
Amy stops and makes a sandwich at some point.
Sounds like me.
It's like you're around the table with us.
Right.
I think I was making lunch for our child.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yep.
It was just an awkward time because we were in Korea.
So it was like midday.
It was always lunchtime.
Yeah, I wasn't I wasn't able to drink.
No, there was no drink.
Like, I mean, I could.
Well, sure.
Yeah, it was a weekend.
It's fine.
Oh, wait, we're dicking people around.
Back on task.
I know we started doing it.
Oh, we can't even stop.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry about that.
Anyways, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast for for just a dollar a month.
You get those sweet bonus episodes.
Two dollars.
You get to hang out with us once a month with those sweet, sweet gook hangs.
Oh, yeah.
And every episode is dedicated to a lovely patron.
And today's patron is the one and only ALex McClure.
ALex, you might recognize her from such films as.
Insert some funny Simpsons things.
All right.
Great Simpsons, Simpsons, Simpsons dark side.
Yeah, yeah, close enough.
Thanks, ALex.
You rock.
You do.
It's true.
So so let's get right into it because there's some action happening.
Oh, she's going down.
I mean, you guys have been stuck in a maze for 12 episodes, but it has been.
Has it actually been 12?
I think it's been pretty close because that seems like the right number.
I guess now we know that time was passing on the outside.
Remember, I feel like at some point we discussed like
because we were in these weird like portal and the time loop.
Maybe no time had passed.
Sometimes it's not looking good out here.
However, dragons can destroy shit in a very short period of time.
You know what?
You're right.
Especially when there's what?
Four of them.
You arrived at Zanthal's Tower in episode 47.
It is now episode 59.
So 12 episodes.
There we go.
That was a nice guess that I had.
That was a good guess, Ross.
Yep.
Okay.
Well, let's all feel bad about ourselves for just a moment here.
As well we should.
Did I say it?
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
You did not say it.
You didn't.
I almost jumped right in.
That was crazy.
He would have edited it and posted it.
This doesn't feel right.
You guys would have been like an awkward voicing to like.
Fuck it.
Let's play.
Let's play D&D.
A E I O U.
That's suitably creepy.
Yeah.
Thank you for that, Dane.
Thanks.
They didn't know it was Dane Cook.
I didn't think I didn't know.
Dane could have just been a cute nickname.
I mean, now that you mentioned it, I remember the speaking spell bit.
So yeah, totally.
Yeah.
But I didn't put two and two together.
All right.
Well, I will edit it out and see if I get called out on Twitter.
Right.
Okay.
Just put a big like over top of this past part of the conversation.
Sure.
Yeah.
That'll be really great to listen to.
Perfect.
Be like our episode one audio.
So you made it out of the maze,
but you made it out and there was some things happening.
Uh, you were greeted by the terrible sound of villagers screaming, a dragon roaring,
lightning bolts and flames tearing houses to splinters and light setting them ablaze.
You saw a blue dragon who knew Laura and Thea recognized as Lennathan,
the blue dragon you fought when you were brand new baby adventurers back in Greenest.
We didn't even fight him.
I mean.
We just ran from him, didn't we?
No, he was attacking the town of Greenest and you guys stepped up and.
That was like our first big adventure.
This was before the podcast.
So don't go back and listen to episode one because it's not going to be there.
This is like episode negative 87.
Wow.
That is a long ways back in the catalog.
Yeah, it really feels like, like it's hard to.
Remember what happened last episode?
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
Nevermind before you guys left the country most joyously.
And what probably caused everybody to cheer out loud as they were listening
is the return of guacamole as she struck into one of the red dragon's eyes as it
was lighting ablaze houses within the city.
I yell, that's my girl.
And she.
I mean, we really need to fact check what owls do here.
Yeah, I'll put it in a sound effect.
It'll be fine.
Make it majestic, kind of like a trill.
Not like Thea's schlorping.
Yeah.
I forgot about the schlorping.
I mean, you heard it here first.
What do you guys do?
I think I'm not acting with my brain.
I think I'm going straight with my heart and I start to gallop.
Yeah, you're a wolf.
Wolf around.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Toward like underneath where guacamole would be like.
Okay.
She's quite a ways away into the city.
So are you going?
I'm running for her and I yell, guac, I'm coming for you, baby.
So Thea takes off at full wolf run.
Flamikins grabs hold of her fur and leaps up on top of her.
Fucking riding me again.
Let's ride, motherfucker.
I don't even notice.
I'm just like single-minded.
You're just so in it.
Is it just the dragons?
I don't mean that the way it sounds, but there's no like ground troops, just the dragons.
From your position, you see no ground troops, only the swooping dragons.
And there are four of them, three red and the one blue.
So is anyone riding them?
Do we see any?
There appeared to be no riders on them.
Okay.
Well, I mean, it's hard to fight dragons when they're flying.
This is the trouble.
This is one of the many troubles with dragons, you guys.
I look around and see if there are like people that need help getting to safety or like,
I mean, we're going to like jump into action, right?
So whatever seems conceivable to do.
Okay.
So we'll say Thea takes off Flamikins, pops onto her back.
Flint, Nularaaaa and Thaddeus take off following.
You get to what looks like the main street and you have the blue dragon,
we'll say to the north, to your right.
And Thea is taking off down the main street towards one of the red dragons
and where Guacamole is to the left.
The three of you, Flint, Thaddeus and Nularaaaa, which way do you go?
Do you follow Thea or do you go towards the blue dragon?
Is the blue the largest dragon?
Like, is it seem like the most imminent threat?
Or is it just the one that's different?
Yes, it looks like the largest.
Russ, can I roll a history check to see what, if I know anything
that maybe the blue dragon mask might be able to help us
in a situation involving a blue dragon?
Oh, hey, hey there.
Good thinking.
Sure.
Clever.
Yeah.
I'd already forgotten we had the blue dragon mask.
All right, so that's a 28.
Me too.
Holy shit.
Well then.
Yes, so you know that the blue dragon mask has powers with a 28
or whatever the fuck you roll.
You know that each dragon mask, there is one for every chromatic dragon,
gives its wearer or should give its wearer the power of the dragon's breath.
For blue, it would be a lightning breath.
For black, it would be acid and so on and so forth.
Oh, OK.
So it doesn't like maybe help us like take control of said dragon.
Just gives dragon powers.
OK.
Not that you are aware of it, but yeah, it would give the bearer
some of the powers of the dragon's color.
You got this, you have this new information or you have this information that you know.
What are you doing?
I have the stats on lightning breath here somewhere
because I actually do have that ability as a theme of your book.
How far does it go?
Like, how far does the cone go?
You get it to work.
It's going to be farther than the one you do being of your descent.
More like the dragon that's in front of you.
You see it unfurl a lightning breath into a set of buildings.
And maybe to help make your decision,
you see down at the end of the way towards the red dragon where Thea is,
there is a family in a building and they look huddled towards one of the doors
as the red dragon is being attacked and another one is swooping down towards that.
All right.
Am I able to unleash this lightning breath towards that swooping red dragon?
You most certainly can try.
Excellent.
What do I need to roll?
What do I need to roll, Russ?
Explain to me what you do with this mask to try and get it to work.
I essentially hold it up to my face as I'm running and put it on my face
because I assume any mask, if you were to attach it to your face,
that should be the way to go, right?
Yeah.
And you're running in that direction, yes?
Yes.
And Ulara, you are running in the direction as well?
You betcha.
So everybody begins running and following down behind Thea.
Flint is putting the mask to its face, trying to find a way to activate it
and make a arcana check.
Okay.
Does anyone else feel like he's going to have this power but not be able to wield it
and it's going to come shooting out kind of like a fireman's hose?
And it's going to be all over the place.
That's a 14.
So you put it to your face and are trying to find a way to activate it,
but you don't seem to make it work.
Okay.
It doesn't appear to activate for you.
So you continue running down trying to find a way to do this
and you get about three quarters of the way down.
Are you done?
I mean, obviously she isn't.
I know, it's still happening.
Jesus, I'm sorry.
Don't apologize to Jesus.
He doesn't want to hear it anymore.
Yes, yes, you're sorry.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
I'm just getting like the, I just-
I know, as I'm like struggling to put this fucking mask on my face.
Like you're running and you're yelling like, activate!
Why won't you work?
Lightning breath!
Or you're just like, ah!
I'm sorry.
I love it.
There's debris everywhere.
It's amazing he doesn't just trip.
It's pretty incredible.
Well, I got a low center of gravity.
I'm pretty sturdy.
That's true.
I'm sorry about that.
Okay, so by this point,
Thea, you've made it down to the door where this family is.
Flint and Thaddeus are about three quarters of the way.
Thaddeus and Flint make a perception check.
I'll make Thaddeuses.
That is a 13 for Flint.
He got 13 as well.
So you guys look and you're still focused on this family,
but you look and you see Nulara has stopped.
She's not behind you anymore.
Nulara, you are standing,
we'll say 150 feet back down the street,
looking at this scene as your friends are rushing towards this building.
You begin to get deja vu.
You recognize the events that are occurring
and you are in a,
what you recognize as a medium to large size town
that is going up in flames.
Crazy.
And you're looking around trying to see signs on buildings
and one that says Sheriff's Office,
another the Brandy Bear Inn
and another in big letters that says the Riteanna Panda Hut
is coming soon to Zanthal's Tower as it falls from the sign.
Red dragon swoops overhead and a massive flame
explodes a building to your right.
And you look to the sky and see that there are these three other dragons soaring above
and whatever is happening here,
you now know as you have seen this before doesn't end well.
You hear a call from down at the end of the street.
Nulara!
And you see Flint and Thea rushing towards a burning building
with the family huddled outside.
Thaddeus, protect them!
You begin to run towards them and as they get to the building
another red dragon swoops in from behind it
and the building explodes out in a fiery blaze knocking you back
and you hit your head on the ground.
You are dazed for the moment.
Flint, Thea, Thaddeus and Flamikins,
you find yourselves covered in smoke and rubble but it's not touching you.
There is an invisible field protecting you
and as the rubble falls towards the ground you have made it to the family
and you see Thaddeus holding up his hands.
They're glowing with divine power as he protects you from this huge explosion.
You turn and you see Lanathin down the street and he says to you,
The mask, you fools!
The mask is what I've come for.
Give it to me and I'll leave these crawling ants with their miserable lives.
The Queen is returning.
Who are you to hope to stop her?
Give me the mask!
We're just like dumbfounded.
I'm dazed.
That's true, she has an excuse.
You can pry it from her cold dead hands, you scaly motherfucker!
You see in his mouth the blue energy of lightning begin to
form as you see a ball of lightning about to emerge when you hear
the loudest roar you've ever heard come from off in the distance
as Lanathin, amid all the chaos, is struck down by a gold dragon
that you recognize as Protanther.
He knocks him to the ground and begins tearing at his wings.
The other dragons are soon attacked by other gold dragons who have come in
and they are chased off over the hills.
Lanathin manages to scramble out from underneath Protanther,
bleeding very badly but has the ability to fly off
as Protanther swoops around the city and lands down in front of you.
Oh my god, are we glad to see you!
Long time no see!
I was all talk.
It was all talk.
I nudge Flynn with my head, I give him the mask.
Why, don't we need to take it to like the council?
Isn't that the, oh yeah, they do want the mask, that's right.
To return them.
One of the dragons, yeah, one of them definitely,
they wanted at the end the masks returned to them.
Plus it seems like, you know, we would just be attracting more and more dragons to us.
And it'd be a good safe keeping spot for it.
Yeah, it's his problem now.
Nularaaaa, you begin to get your wits about yourself and you begin to stand up
and you see that there are now a group of gold dragons swooping over the city
and Protanther between you and your friends down at the end who are thankfully okay.
I run to her to see if she's okay but I want to sneakily do something like,
like she's not going to expect.
I'm going to run over, I don't know how to play this out,
I'm going to run over and I'm going to say like,
oh my God, Nularaaaa, are you okay?
But as I run up, I'm not going to stop and I'm going to take my big ass wolf teeth
and I'm going to tear off her belt and get that dagger away from her
as she's coming out of her like stupor.
Okay, make a check and justify what check you're using.
I will use athletics, I suppose.
You're not, nobody's expecting this, I'll give you advantage.
Oh, thank God, because I rolled a two.
Two, that's only a six.
So that's an eight.
It's not great.
So I'm running up to her in a, hey buddy, you okay?
Like we saw you go down hard kind of way
but instead of stopping short at her, I go like right to her
and I tear off her belt without any like, or her like the sheath to her
wherever she's keeping that demon.
The old demon dagger.
You run up and you say this and you jump for it
and it's like you hit a wall with your mouth.
Oh, I whimper.
You grab hold of the sheath and you take 17 piercing damage
as your mouth begins to bleed.
Rude!
And Nulara, as this happens, you feel a course of energy come from the blade
as you see the two ruby gems glow on the blade
and you gain 16 health from that.
Aw, damn.
So nice of you, Amy.
Well, that didn't work.
To say the least.
I snarl and growl.
Protanther looks down on you with a disgusted look.
You're destroying villages and trying to steal your friend's things?
Hey, that dagger bewitches her and makes her really stabby.
You care to try to take it off her?
No.
Hey there, I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
Thanks for joining us for episode 59 of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
The battle for Xomthal's Tower.
It's intense, isn't it?
Big thanks to our supporters and you supporting the supporters who support us.
But if you want to support us directly, ha, keep up with that.
You can join us in our Patreon community
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In fact, we just had our monthly gook hang yesterday.
And if you want to come hang out with us, that's just $2 a month.
But for $1 a month, you're definitely helping make the show better with every episode.
Plus you get a whole backlog of monthly bonus episodes.
New episodes come out on the 15th of every month.
Plus you get little glimpses of all the other tears that we got going on there.
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The next episode will be out Wednesday, October 31st and you know what, that's Halloween!
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Make sure you hit that subscribe button if you don't already so you don't miss out on that.
It's gonna be a blast!
Let's dive back into the fray though and see if the adventures can save the day.
Have a great week, we'll talk soon.
Do you have any thoughts on how we can get rid of it?
A cursed or possessed item usually has one thing that it needs.
You just need to find out what that thing is.
Well, luckily this talks to her.
So, Nelora, you better start asking some questions because
that was like the worst flossing experience of my life.
Like a real aggressive dental hygienist just really got in there.
I asked for no scaling, I got scaling.
Is this really the most important thing you could be doing?
Trusting one of my teammates is very important and I thought,
using the element of surprise, I would be able to rid her of this affliction
and make her a more useful part of our team.
Wrong again, Elf.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate you trying to get rid of this cursed item off of me.
Protanther, thank you for your help.
Without you we would have certainly been dead.
You most certainly would be.
And you, Thaddeus, thank you.
Yeah, he coughs a little bit as he's struggling to stand up.
A lot of energy expenditure on that one there.
Well, and plus you got stabbed in the heart recently, so.
It was rough.
Hence why we wanted to get rid of that dagger.
Hey, I mostly healed him after that.
I feel like I just saw you three days ago.
Oh, it's been a few days.
Perhaps it feels like it's been longer than it's actually been.
Well, we got stuck in that maze over there that has a bunch of fun,
like time situations going on in it.
So, yeah, it's been a while.
Makes sense.
I think we have something for you.
Oh, yeah, and I take the mask from off of my face
as I'd been trying to hold it on there and I walk it over to him.
Protanther reaches out taking the mask and begins inspecting it.
It appears you have brought me a piece of blue wood.
It's one of the dragon masks.
Is that not what you want?
I mean, we'll take it back.
Protanther hands it back to you.
Oh, my God.
So this was not what we were looking for.
What were you looking for?
The blue dragon mask.
Hmm.
It's a very close replica, but.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
It contains none of the powers of the blue dragon mask.
It appears you have been duped again by the very cult
that has brought you so many issues before.
I look up to the sky and I yell, Gwak!
Gwak swoops down to you.
Oh, we cuddle.
I imagine it's like she like tackles you and.
Yeah.
Feathers of fur.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Kisses.
Perhaps you wild shape back into Thea during that.
I hug her big time.
Well, I mean, I don't know.
I guess this was all a giant fucking waste of time
then coming here for this mask.
It certainly feels that way.
We did get those cool diamonds, though.
Good.
I'm glad we've joined forces.
Some extreme sarcasm coming from you.
Yep, quite a bit.
What else has been going on?
We've been trapped in this maze and this tower
for what feels like an eternity.
Something like 12, at least 12 lengths of units of time.
Truthfully, you left the nether mountains three days ago, so.
The dragon council was three days ago?
Yeah.
Yeah, you spent.
God damn it.
Our timelines are so fucked up right now.
You spent a night in Waterdeep with Grug
and then you spent the day with the council talking to Varam.
And then a day traveling on the airship.
And then a day traveling and then half a day at most.
Oh, God.
In the maze, because each episode in the maze
was only like six minutes.
Because each scene was in battle and in encounter.
So that's why I kept rolling for time, too,
saying like 30 seconds to go down this,
60 seconds to go down this.
So yeah.
It hurts my brain.
I just feel tired.
I'm just so tired of the bottom line.
But anyway, that means there hasn't been a lot of cult progress either.
No.
Hopefully.
Since we last spoke, the council of Waterdeep came
and made good on the promises that you made.
And as such, you have earned our support.
They have tasked our forces around Faerun as protectors.
Fortunately for you, I was sent your direction.
That was very fortunate for us.
We really do appreciate the save.
I'm like practically dying over here,
and I'm not even being dramatic about it.
Let's help this village put out some fires
and see if there's a place to rest for a little while, maybe.
Yes.
That sounds like a very, very good idea.
Yeah, a rest would be real advantageous.
Do you want anything else of Protanther and the Gold Dragons?
Just, you know, you keep doing you, buddy.
Like you guys are doing a fantastic job.
We really appreciate it.
I mean, a few of the things you said was hurtful, sure.
But I mean, all in all, I guess it all evens out
considering you saved our lives.
Yes, I did save your lives.
Well, I hope we can return the favor in the coming battles.
Felt right off.
Yeah, right?
He's not wrong.
Wait to see you on the battlefield.
But like as a friend, right?
Like an ally.
Naturally.
Okay, all right.
I do not wish to fight you because it would be such a weak fight.
I wouldn't even break a sweat.
Touche.
I mean, hurtful, but Touche.
But fair.
Again, hurtful, but fair.
That's accurate.
That's fair.
Oh, hey, Protanther, before you go,
do you know anything about a devil named Taraz the Fair?
You've been around a long time.
Taraz the Fair was an elemental, not a devil.
But I haven't seen or heard from him in a while.
Yeah, he's in that tower.
Well, he was known to cause a lot of mischief and pain to a lot of people.
He's really not a great guy.
Yeah, that's kind of the impression we got.
I'm glad we left him there, then.
Did seem like one of those ironic nicknames.
Yes, he was fair.
The Fair.
But fair in a swift need to murder people.
Mm hmm.
It's like when they put the great, the end of like,
they were great at murdering and beheading people.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
So wait, does that mean like Ivan the Terrible was actually a good guy?
No, I think that one was accurate.
Okay.
All right.
If we could, we would like to rest for a while or maybe we could rest while we ride,
but our airship unfortunately has been destroyed by these motherfucking awful red and blue dragons.
Would it be possible for you to give us a lift back to Waterdeep?
Of course I can.
Is that where we're going?
I'm just trying to look because we had like, you know, a list of things we wanted to do.
It's just like a thousand pages of the maze.
Because yeah, the options were Xanthal's Tower or Well of Dragons?
Is that so?
No, no, no.
Red Wizards of Thay.
The Wizards of Thay.
Wizards of Thay.
Wizards of Thay, yes.
But I mean, we want to go back and report.
Yeah, the way to get to Thay because it's so fucking far away was they had someone who
was going to teleport the three of you there.
Right, right, right, right, right.
So you would have to return to Waterdeep.
Because that's where their representative was.
Okay, cool.
I was good at remembering stuff.
So we'll do a clean-up travel montage.
So we go, yeah, and like be part of the Bucket Brigade.
Thea and Guacamole fly with, I fly on her back with buckets of water to help
put out fires on rooftops.
I think that we will go...
Donnie's real happy that he's so strong these days because he's big.
So we're going to go kind of move debris out of the roadways and see if people
are trapped anywhere.
And he can actually use his big, big guy dragon muscles to be physically helpful
in a way that he couldn't before.
You managed to move several caravans and wagons off of trapped villagers,
saving them.
And from beneath rubble inside some of the houses,
you're able to rescue some people as well.
Flint and Thaddeus and Flamingons, tell me what they're doing.
They're going to help me with various workings, whether it's wood or metal,
in an effort to rebuild things for people that have lost everything, apparently.
I've been working on the village.
Oh, okay.
I accidentally dump a bucket on top of Flamingons.
Oh, God.
Sorry, bitch.
I don't think she's sorry.
Do you?
I definitely don't think she's sorry.
God damn it.
All right.
Well, cool.
Let's keep hammering.
And you do so.
And you manage to put out many fires throughout the village.
And as you finish and it seems to be settled down,
Protanther approaches you and says,
All right.
Are we ready to go, tiny people?
Yes, giant dragon.
Then come on.
Hop on my back as demeaning as it is.
I hug Guacamole like real tight around the neck,
and I nuzzle my face against her beak.
And I give her beak a little kiss, and I whisper, nap time.
And then she turns back and I tuck it safely in my pocket.
Perfect.
You do that and you climb aboard Protanther,
and he, with a few great beats of his wings,
takes you up and off and back towards Waterdeep.
Got anywhere you'd like to be scratched?
Don't touch me.
Okay.
You spend a day flying back towards Waterdeep.
And as you get to the outskirts of the area around Waterdeep,
you see that when you left,
there were lots of caravans going to Waterdeep.
But now the city seems to be overflowing with people.
There are tents and there are caravans, wagons,
all set up around the perimeter of the city.
The city can't physically take more people at this point.
There are crude camps set up,
people who look like they've been through wars themselves,
battles themselves, women, children, and men
of all different races coming to Waterdeep.
Protanther lands you near King's Court,
and you climb off, and he says,
Until we join forces on the field of battle.
And he beats his wings and heads back towards
Zanthal's Tower and the area the gold dragons were designated to look after.
Yes.
So you know that the blue dragon mask has powers.
But actually for white dragons.
Oh.
It's strange.
They're color blind.
I like that.
Let me flip to their powers.
I'll be right back while he's flipping to the powers page.
Okay.
Yep.
Flip faster.
Is it an Austin Powers page?
Yeah, it is for our Austin Powers podcast.
It's podcast, baby.
Yeah.
I mean, danger is his middle name.
What did I miss?
Did he get to the powers page?
Yeah, you missed our Austin Powers podcast reference yet again.
Oh man, that's such a good podcast.
It's really topical too.
Sorry, little side note.
Just had to search.
There are two podcasts, one called Austin Powers Minute,
and then Il Podcast de Austin Powers.
Spanish language podcast.
That's fun.
Austin Powers, baby, would be an okay one for us to take over.
Yeah, good.
Perfect.
All right, next year.
Special Patreon bonus episode.
Us talking about Austin Powers.
Has nobody seen in how many years?
I know we'd have to watch it again and I bet it does not hold up.
But let's get on the horn with Mike Myers.
Get him to come out with a new Austin Powers.
That way it'll be relevant.
Do we want to unleash that on the world?
I don't think we do.
I don't want to be responsible for yet another Austin Powers.
The first two, pure gold.
Anything after that.
Absolute garbage there.
I said it on recording and everything.
That's a good question.
Also, I want to know if he puts on the mask, does it?
Is it like gym clothes?
I can't like get it off of my face.
And I do a bunch of zany like physical stunts.
And there's a cute dog.
That's true.
So as you're running, you're putting this mask to your face and you.
Easy, Amy.
Easy.
I keep having the visual of like.
Two page, but he says.
What up, suckers?
Long time no see.
Remember me, bitches?
He says.
Russ is Googling.
No, no, I'm not.
Was Ivan the Terrible really that terrible?
ALexa.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.